[KeralaAIDS] The Woman who Chose to Live

The woman who chose to live

K M Sree
Express News Service
http://expressbuzz.com/magazine/the-woman-who-chose-to-live/255171.html 12 Mar 2011

A yellow tinge on the shimmering marbles of the most adorned memorial of love, the Taj Mahal could evoke the attention of the Indian government, but the most poignant love memorials located in North Kerala still remain unnoticed. Sitting beneath the garlanded photograph of B P Moideen, at B P Moideen Seva Mandir, Moideen’s beloved Kanchana Mala recalls her ‘rebirth’ as the Kanchanedathi (elder sister Kanchana) of the locals after the unexpected death of her lover Moideen.

Their love story is famous is Mukkom, where Moideen and Kanchana grew up, she the daughter of a Hindu landlord, he the scion of a wealthy Muslim family. The families knew one another and the two played and went to school together. Until, of course,  they fell in love. Kanchana was put under a house arrest that lasted 25 years, ending only because Moideen died while trying to save the victims of a boat wreck.

“When a friend of Moideen’s told my sister that he had drowned in the brook of the Chaliyar river while saving the victims of a boat wreck, I could not even believe it. I wanted to end my life and even attempted suicide,” she recalls. She was 41 years old then, Moideen was 44.

After he died, hostilities ceased, in a manner of speaking. “Moideen’s mother reminded me of my duties to him and persuaded me to take up the services started by him,” she recollects. Moideen, a service-oriented person, had started a centre to empower destitute women.

And so, Kanchana, now 69, chose to live as the widow of a man she had never married, choosing instead to  help hundreds of destitute women in and around her village, even 30 years after the tragic death of Moideen.

The Seva Mandir, an epitome of love between an Islam faithful and a Hindu woman, extends help regardless of their faith or religion.  Transforming the old, deteriorated house of Moideen into a ‘Seva Mandir’ with the blessings of Moideen’s mother Fathima, Kanchana never thought that she would have to take on a legal route for retaining Seva Mandir.

A counselling centre, library, reading room and training centre that offers various vocational courses for the poor with the support of Community Development Through Polytechnique (CDTP) are being operated out of the Seva Mandir and these activities will have an abrupt end if the land has to be handed over to a third person.

Inspired by Fathima, the first director of the B P Moideen Seva Mandir, Kanchana started her positive walk by counselling the residents of a nearby colony, who were engaged in the flesh trade. She helped them gain dignity and employment through the Mahila Samajam formed by her.

“It was an eye-opener,” says Kanchana while recalling the miserable and piteous lives of women who were living in that colony which was just a kilometre away from her residence. “It was a shock to see the door of her house which was damaged in an attack by the anti-socials,” sighed the ‘Jahanara’ of Moideen, recalling the words of a young woman in the colony who was married to a much older man as she felt it difficult to fight off the anti-socials without the support of a man.

The growing gap between the haves and the have-nots disturbed Kanchana, instigating her to seek the help of other social organisations for starting literacy programme and employment training programme for women. “I took charge of the Seva Mandir in 1985 to achieve the task,” she shares standing beneath the huge cutout of Moideen, who was a football player, reminding that the efforts were started by Moideen.

This ultimate tribute of love, a realistic effort to enliven the memories of a person, by educating and assisting the destitute is the most inspiring fact about this organisation. Though a few turn up to gaze at an edifice inlaid with moss as the court cases prevent the director and board of the Seva Mandir from taking up renovation, this two-storied office cum library cum training centre of the Seva Mandir, has become an integral part of Mukkom.

Protection of the destitute like Rani (name changed), an HIV/AIDS patient belonging to a nomadic group, is also Kanchana’s responsibility. “When Rani who thrived on the streets of Mukkom cried out in agony holding the bone of some animals, believing it to be the bone of her own infant, who was missing for the past a few months, I was really touched and had to counsel her to and make her believe that it was the bone of a goat,” shares Kanchana.

Mahila Samajam, a self-help group for women, Gramadarshan, Mahila Avakasha Samrakshana Samithi (a committee to protect the rights of women), people’s bank, Netaji Anthyodaya Kendra, P T Bhaskara Panikkar Counselling Centre, P N Panikkar Fraternity project and Seva Mandir Education Trust are other organisations run by Kanchana at the Seva Mandir.

http://expressbuzz.com/magazine/the-woman-who-chose-to-live/255171.html

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